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Gods work

I love that God gives me heavenly confirmations that I am right where I’m supposed to be when I start to get frustrated with my profession. Today was one of those days. As a teacher they come harder and faster as we draw near to the end of the school year, but today was a doozy and by the end I had that “why should I keep doing this” feeling  following me like the grim reaper. 

It didn’t help that I was pretty sick to start off the week and missed a day that left me three days behind, but I was confident I would be back on track in no time. Then it happened. Long story short I was reprimanded for not doing something that I was supposed to do by a certain timeline. 

Something I was never told I had to do, so you can imagine that I was not happy. I pride myself on my work ethic, the very reason this school district has pursued me for years now. So I set out to find out what it was that I needed to do to rectify the problem I didn’t even know existed. Fix it and move on. 

The problem is no one really knew how to fix the problem. I was sent on a wild goose chase…

Go talk to the alternative education secretary. 

No, we don’t do grades go to the high school office independent study room. 

I’m just a teacher here you need to go talk to the alternative education principal. 

I was mad and exhausted at 7:45 in the morning. So I went back to my classroom and drafted a strongly worded email. 

Let’s just say that I had what I needed in my hand within 10 minutes, but a boss who would not even speak to me as he delivered them. Even my students stared at me in disbelief when he walked out of my room. 

Needless to say the rest of the day I was fed up with education. Fed up with the broken system I was working in and praying for summer before I had a mental break down. 

Then God showed up with a trust me moment. He knew what I need when I’m not feeling it. More than I knew in that moment. This is love. No human can love me the way he loves me, because he knows what I need even before I do and he seeks out those times to love and encourage me. It makes him happy, like a good Father, encouraging me to keep up the fight. This was his message…

I was walking back to my classroom after school was out, the schools football field to my right, school buildings on my left and I noticed a track and field event going on. Then I saw a few students wearing purple, I thought to myself are those SHS students? The High School I worked at for 6 years before moving districts. 

Then I hear, “McFarlane?!?!?!” As a student ran up to the chain link fence that separated us. One of my favorite students, now a senior and he was so happy to se me that he scaled the 6 ft chain link fence to hug me and catch up, or should I say question my loyalty?

I swear I told him not to scale that fence. Yelled it even. But I’m glad he did. So great to see him and know I’ve made an impact. 

As if that wasn’t enough to change my mood another student saw the interaction. An 8th Grade I worked with my last year in the district who was now a freshman. A kid that was getting straight F’s the year I worked with him, who wanted to drop out of school and saw his life going nowhere.  I constantly encouraged/chastised him until it exhausted me. He told me that he was getting A’s and B’s, he was in sports and doing good. Then he told me he was going to move so he could come to the school I’m working at now. Such a great reminder that I am impactful in my days, even when I don’t feel it. 

I have a great job. I am so blessed to do what I do. No I will never become a millionaire, but the investments I do make will pay out heavenly dividends that will bless me for eternity. 

Thank you for the reminder Father. ❤️🙏🏼

A Father’s Blessing

I spent some time doing a counseling and prayer ministry for a church I used to attend and in that time I learned so much about the importance of the relationship we have with our parents. 

As good parents we are supposed to mimic the relationship we have with the God head. So many people who reject religion have deep abiding issues with their earthly father and write off God as if he is unavailable, violent, dismissive____________ insert descriptive adjective here. This breaks my heart because it affects so many lives negatively and in the long run affects our communities and our futures. 

We all want to be validated by our father. 

That is a heavy truth. 

High expectations can lead to disappointment. Disappointment leads to a feeling of rejection. A feeling of rejection can alter a persons success in a myriad of ways. 

Approximately 82.2% of custodial parents are mothers. I know statistics do not show the whole picture, but this leaves out the vital connection of a father and child, it is heartbreaking to me. Too many fathers not man enough to invest in their child’s life. Too many mentors not encouraging young fathers to lead their families right. Too many mothers allowing their children to disrespect or even teaching them to disrespect and dishonor their fathers. The brokeness is a never ending cycle and it needs to stop. 

If you are a Father know that your influence is deep and wide. It might not be obvious to you. You might feel rejected and unwanted, but nothing could be further from the truth. 

We as parents need to follow Gods example. 

“And suddenly a voice came from heaven, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.””

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

http://bible.com/114/mat.3.17.nkjv

He expressed his blessing publicly. Publicly. So many people need to hear their father bless them. It heals broken hearts and unmet expectations. It saves families. 

Imagine the healing and love that can come from such a simple act. If you are pleased with your child, say so. If you are not, find a reason to be and say so. 

In turn, us children need to honor our parents. If you hold deep seated resentments, let it go and forgive. Our response is our responsibility. Lets give grace, because our parents are the only relationship that we can count on in the end. 

To my Father who is gone but not forgotten. Thank you for making me feel wanted, it saved my life. 

To my mother, you are the best mother I could have ever had. God chose you to care for me and I thank you for your love and sacrifice.

Call your kids today and bless them. 

Call your parents today and bless them.

Watch it transform their days and their futures.   

 

Giving.

I am always looking for the lesson that God is guiding me to in whatever situation I find myself. 

Like a good father he is always trying to teach me. I try to be a good child and follow his prompting and ponder his word.  

The last few months I have been working with three different independent study students with varying disabilities that prevent them from attending school. All of them are great kids. All of them have great families. 

One of them in particular is from a migrant family who has so much less than the other two. A family of five living in a small one bedroom apartment. The sparse decor and furniture overpowered by the presence of God. Not only are there pictures of Jesus on every wall, but the humble presence is felt in every interaction. 

Simple people who follow the tenets of their faith,they offer me food and drink every week without fail. They are the only family that do. They do not need to do this, I am getting paid a pretty decent wage to sit with their child and help him complete his schoolwork. But they do it because they believe so strongly in giving to others. They have been taught, and so they teach their children and expect no reward in return. 

What a wonderful life lesson. The golden rule in action and although I am by no means judging those who do not give me food and drink, I am appreciating the kindness bestowed on me and the glimpse of Gods hand in people’s lives. 

  

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Embrace the new

Sometimes we learn something that rocks us to our core. Those moments when what you knew or believed about your path in life, the trajectory that was as familiar as your baby blanket; warm comfortable and always there, was altered. Shifted in such a way that you end up second guessing all you understand about yourself or your circumstances. 

My daughter has come to a crossroads, and whether she realizes it or not, the way she responds will make or break her success for the next few years. Scary to think about. I mean, if she refuses to embrace the new blessing she has been graced with she will eventually recover. Move on with her life and do well over the long haul. A few years lost to a legitimate upheaval of self. But as a parent we want more than just okay for our kids.

We want amazing. We want blessed. We want success, love and contentment overflowing and if we are honest with ourselves a big part of that is selfishness. If they do not become successful right out of the gate what does it say about us? We failed as parents. We lacked some skill to get them where they need to be. We expected too much, or not enough. Too much criticism or lack of guidance and expectations, and their failure is a reflection of our parenting. Ouch. 

That is really scary. But, as usual, it’s not about us. Maybe we can take a hint from our father in heaven, as parents. Maybe we need to step back and let them have free will over their lives. Of course our children will blame us for any failure they may experience and they will rarely give us accolades for the greatness in them. Parenting is a thankless job, but still the best job in existence. 

My daughters EEG and follow appointment with the pediatric neroulogist went very well. So well in fact, that we found she only suffers from one kind of seizure, previously we were told she had suffered from three kinds. So we are left with less to treat and so much more hope then the pieced together life she knew before we went to San Francisco. 

But sometimes hope can feel like expectation, the kind that demands you show up and make up for lost time. That must be pretty overwhelming for a 17 year old girl who is already feeling the pressure to decide her future in 12 months time. 

As her mom I need to find the balance between sitting in the quietness as the realization of a life changed settles in, and pushing her to be the best she can be. 

Always on the tightrope, I live. Yet I have a Father there with me. I must rejoice in that and trust that he will tell me the right time to encourage and the right time to grieve. Because we are in the midst of both.