Comparison is the thief of joy. Such an amazing truth.
I believe that and have always held tight to the fact that I am Gods daughter, that my life is unique and blessed and I have no reason to compare my life with others. I rejoice with other people’s triumphs and comfort them in their sorrows. I am part of a community and there is so much joy in that fact.
But today was different. Today was not filled with joy. It was filled with sorrow and resentment and well, loneliness.
I struggled all day with trying to understand why. I have a full life. I have many people who love me and I am blessed beyond measure.
What was different about today?
For some reason, outside my normal thinking I began to compare my life with all of my friends. Everything I have learned about peace and contentment raged against my actions today. Yet I still wallowed in self pity.
Their memorial weekend was more exciting than mine. They went on camp outs. They had BBQ’s with friends and family. They went on trips with loved ones and shared their beautiful weekends on social media, and I sat here alone. Alone and resentful, yet it was no ones fault but my own. I am the only one in control of my happiness.
Do I delete my Facebook? That doesn’t seem like an appropriate response, even though it was a big source of my sorrow today. Facebook ( or any social media outlet) is just the symptom of a bigger problem. The problem of comparison, is the problem. A new one for me, I might add and I’m not sure what to do with it but pray. Pray that God helps me see the actual root of the problem and heals me from it. Pray that I make sure to include others in my plans if at all possible. Pray to not harbor resentment toward others that meant no harm.
Being a single mom in a new place is hard, I can’t imagine doing it without my Heavenly Father or the caring community I am blessed to be a part of today. Yet it’s good to notice that even the strongest people have their moments.