Today has been one of those days. You know the days when you wake up rushed, feel the pressure of your calendar. The to do’s that are mounting and the expectations of everyone you are connected to by 5 in the morning.
I did my usual routine to combat the feelings of failure that start to mount up on days like these.
Read my devotions, 2x for extra measure. The verses to encourage and correct my thinking. Focus my attention on the fact that I’m not in this fight alone.
Listened to worship music on my long commute. Trying to fill myself with the reassuring hope that all of this isn’t up to me. God is far more capable than me, I give it to him and trust that it will all be okay.
Yet you continue to be bombarded with messages of worthlessness.
At work it is the feeling of not being good enough. Knowing that colleagues, parents and even students are silently judging you. Some not so silently. It could break a person without strength. As if the voices in my head are not critical enough.
The unspoken judgements of people who wonder how I can work the job I have and being a single parent. The hours away from home, and even more the hours worked at home when I should be spending time with my children.
Usually my morning devotion time centers me. Shields me from the worlds lies that try and tell me I’m unworthy.
Today it didn’t work and I’m still left feeling overwhelmed, tapped out and not good enough.
So now I tell myself tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow is a new day. God is faithful to those who trust in him. I trust in him. I will continue to try and bring him glory in all I do, even when the world tells me I’m a failure I will look to him for my identity. God called me to be a teacher and I am a good one because I trust in his promises and rely on his strenghth. Tomorrow is a new day.
“yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.”
Romans 4:20-21 NASB