My best friend and I went to a concert last weekend. Not just any concert, but a band that we both love for very similar reasons. The message of redemption from depravity, loneliness, abandonment and sin soaks through every word sung with fierce abandon. Flyleaf is one of those bands that screams your story. That is if you’re a Christian who has failed to prove their worthiness through actions and flowery prayers, a Christian who often feels the weight of our task in this world and weeps at our inadequacy.
It was a great moment as friends to experience this show together, it almost felt as if our past lives that were filled with abuse, self loathing and putrid sin were being woven together; as kindred spirits, into a beautiful scene of redemption and hope. God is hope. I know this as I look forward to my future; I’m so grateful for the hope he has given me. I have a bright future as long as I keep my eyes on Jesus. Does this mean we won’t have more self loathing? Hell no. Does this mean that my future will be what I think it will be? More peaceful, more prosperous, more amazing? I think so. Not because I expect God to bless me because I follow his path for me ( or at least try to), but because I long to please him in all I do. Prosperous in Gods blessings doesn’t necessarily mean money. I know I’m already prospering in my job and my impact on young kids lives. My life is amazing because I have an abundance of love and support all around me. So happy and blessed.
So this brings me to the title of my blog. ” I don’t want you to be happy without me”. This was the chorus to a song that an opening act sang before flyleaf went on. It struck me as funny at first, then incredibly sad. The end of a relationship is always tragic. People get hurt, and lives change. Many people feel a sadness at their loss and this turns to anger and revenge as a way to feel better or to recover their pride maybe? Others are able to move on and find peace. I really am happy with my life now, and sometimes I feel guilty knowing that my obvious happiness really bothers people who used to be in my life. People who are no longer in my life because of choices they made. Choices have consequences. That is a universal truth that we all know. Deep down. But, Many of us don’t want to really face that. We rather place blame on others, or we develop vices and mannerisms that we think will help us cope. We must realize the impact we have on others. Every choice you make effects your relationships; whether vertically or horizontally.
I really do want everyone who has been in my life to be happy without me, even if that is not their hope for me. After all, the more peace we have in this world the better. The peace that surpasses all understanding. May gods peace and blessings be on you all.