I really believe that there are two type of people in this world; the people who will share their hurts and struggles with the world and those who pretend that their life is perfect. Please don’t take this post as a bash on the people who live in a way I do not. I am not trying to judge them and I do believe that life should be a good balance between sharing and healing or blabbing and hurting. I also believe that the people who are willing to admit their faults and share with others are eventually the ones who end up happy and healthy.
I am of the first persuasion, I have always felt the need to share my pain with others, partially to help them out and partially to help me heal. I know that freedom to speak is such an important right that many people died, and are still dying to protect that right for us. Yet so many people are so afraid to actually speak. Speak their mind about politics, religion, injustice and even their very real personal struggles. We need to stop being afraid. Speak your mind.
I was afraid for a long time to share too much of my personal struggles because I was married to a person of the second persuasion; one who was very prideful and wanted everyone to think that life was perfect. Our life was far from perfect, everybody’s life is far from perfect. But if anyone was privy to even the slightest bit of stuff we were going through it was an act of war. Our home was a constant battlefield. Yet I held back a lot, I was censored because I felt the marriage was more important than talking, writing, sharing. I had to choose and I chose my marriage.
Relationships are messy. People want to be pleased, they don’t want to please. People want to be cared for, but rather not care too much for others. People guard their hearts for good reason, but this prevents them from really loving someone they way we all want and deserve to be loved.
I speak my mind about my religion. Anyone who knows me knows that I believe in God, that I try to practice the tenets of the christian faith. They also know that I will admit to being a failure at that endeavor daily, sometimes hourly and I need to repent of my selfish self serving ways. But I share my faith and my story to show people the beauty of Gods salvation and it’s proof in my life. I try not to shove it in people’s faces, but I speak it when I feel it is necessary. I speak it to help others and to help my self.
I don’t like to speak too much on politics because I hate to argue. So many people that are interested in politics seem like angry combatants that don’t really want to help people, they just want to argue. But that doesn’t mean it should not be talked about. It needs to be shared in a way that is to help people, and there are people out there created to do that. I do speak on injustice when I feel I need to, but I do think we can talk too much and cheapen the tragedy with our words. It needs to have a purpose and make a difference. Otherwise we look like we are talking about the social injustices of the world because it is the “hip” thing to do, not to encourage change. Let’s speak about the things that move us, to help people and our world be better.
Proverbs 18:21 ESV
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
It is really important that we choose our words wisely and think of all the people who will read them or hear them. Speaking life is something I am moved to do. As a special education teacher I have students who are emotionally low for various reasons. One student of mine was struggling with self mutilation and thoughts of suicide and when we discovered it I made it a mission to speak life to her. Everyday when she walked into my classroom I told her, “you are a treasure”. It made her mad at first, it made her think…maybe someday it will make her believe. This does not mean that I have not used words to create “death”. We all get angry and say things that we can’t take back. If I have done that to anyone reading this blog, I apologize to you. I want you to know that I think you are a treasure too. God created us all as his treasure, and although we refuse to believe it, maybe someday we will if we keep hearing it. Imagine the change that would take place if we all believed that we were valued beyond measure?
Death or life are in your words, what will you choose?
Use your words for life. In your marriage. In your divorce. In your children. In your workplace. In your community. In your heart.